It's funny how variable working in a community pharmacy can be. Nowadays, I locum here and there, and I tend to really enjoy it. I usually do evening shifts, so you have an hour or two of bedlam, followed by several hours of blissful calm and quiet, where you get to sort out all the outstanding things, do lots of other bits and pieces like checking owings, controlled drug stock levels, and cleaning. I usually also end up having bizarrely deep and meaningful conversations about life, love and philosophy with whoever I am working with. Usually when I leave a pharmacy it is as clean and tidy as possible, I've sorted out what I can, and have left notes for anything that I haven't been able to deal with fully.
I say all this because I lately did one of *those* locum shifts. The ones where it is constantly busy, no prescription is straightforward, the fax machine isn't working, and you seem to have to deal with every problem under the sun. On this particular locum shift, I think my colleagues and I encountered every single type of category of impolite customer possible in a 4 hour shift.
So, because the only way that we can cope with such things is to laugh about them, and because I fancy a self-indulgent rant, here is my compilation of the things in pharmacy that annoy me and that happened in that locum shift.
The Mythical Taxi
Some people do get a taxi to their local supermarket. I have done it myself. But it would appear that taxi companies must have an amazingly lucrative trade in ferrying people to and from pharmacies if the frequency of use of the phrase "Can you do it quickly please, I've got a taxi waiting" is anything to go by. These are not, as far as I am aware, magic words that will somehow warp the time-space continuum so that I am able to dispense and check a twenty item prescription in a mere matter of seconds. Whether or not you actually have a taxi waiting will simply mean that your prescription gets put in the queue in the same place it would have done anyway, and you will wait the same amount of time as you would have done anyway. Needless to say, I suspect that many of these taxis don't actually exist, but merely a tactic used by some people to attempt to "hurry their prescriptions along".
The Dry Chesty Cough
"What sort of a cough is it?" "Well, its a dry, chesty cough."
No, no it isn't. It's either dry or its chesty, its not both. And either way, there is little point buying anything for it given that there is no evidence that any cough medicines work.
The Evil Eyes
Glaring at me continuously for the entire time that I am dispensing your prescription will not in any way speed up my work, and in fact may have the opposite effect as I am more likely to lumber around in a sloth-like manner just to annoy.
"I Need To Be Somewhere"
At 6:05pm, a woman handed in her prescription of 4 items. At 6:07pm, having spent all of two minutes repeatedly sighing and tapping her feet, she asked to speak to the pharmacist. Off I went, leaving a prescription half-dispensed. She demanded to know how long her prescription was going to be (the one I left to go and speak to her), because she needed to be somewhere. I gave her an estimation, told her I was doing it now, then went off to complete it. She then asked to speak to me a further three times to find out how long it was going to be, each time meaning it would take a little longer. "But I need to be somewhere at 6:15!!" she told me each time. I handed her the prescription at 6:12pm, thanking her for her patience. She then proceeded to rant for several minutes about how long the prescription had taken and how it meant she was going to be late and she had to be somewhere at 6:15. She eventually stopped complaining at exactly 6.15, and I returned to the dispensary, whereupon I noticed out of the corner of my eye that she had taken the time to hang around to complain about how long it had taken her to get her prescription to some of her friends who she just happened to bump into in the shop. Goodness only knows what time she actually left.
If you have ever picked up a prescription from a pharmacy, you will have probably been asked to confirm your address. This is so that we can make sure that you actually get the correct prescription. This is not because we are evil assassins or because we want to sit in a bush outside your house and spy on you- we really don't- and you're address is written on the prescription so if we wanted to we could anyway. On this locum shift, however, we were accused of invading someone's privacy for asking for this information. "I don't need to give you that information!" he declared. The counter assistant advised him that this is a routine question to ensure that we give out the correct prescription. But this wasn't good enough, and he wanted to speak to someone in charge. Off I went into the breach. I told him that he could come into the consultation room to give us his address so no one could overhear, but this was "an inconvenience", apparently.
By this time, he was shouting and other people in the queue were staring at him.
Again, I advised that we routinely confirm the address to ensure that the correct prescription is given out.
He decided to prove that the prescription was his instead by giving out his name, date of birth, and by telling me every item that was on the script. Loudly. One of which was sildenafil (Viagra).
Magicking Up Medicine
Me: "I'm sorry, we don't have that item in stock. There is a manufacturing problem on it, so we can't get it from our suppliers"
Patient: "But I need it"
Me (in head): "Oh I see. Well if you can hold on a few minutes, I'll just nip round the back into our large pharmaceutical manufacturing factory, dig out the raw materials, and whip you up a batch right now then"
Me (in real-life): "I understand, but I'm really sorry, we can't get any in at the moment."
Patient: "But I need it."
Me: "Where is the nearest wall please, so that I can bash my head against it repeatedly?"
The Expert Customer
I'm advising a patient about how to manage their child's teething problems. Another customer waiting in the queue decides to chip in with "Those Nelsons Teetha sachets are really good." (Nelsons Teetha sachets are homeopathic, therefore contain nothing of use and have no pharmacological effect). From then on, I (and my many years of training and experience) might as well not exist, as nothing I say can steer the patient away from believing that Nelsons Teetha are simply THE best thing since sliced bread, and in her eyes I'm obviously a terrible pharmacist for not recommending them immediately.
Impatient Patient Questioning
You ask the patient all the usual questions. They're all answered with a loud sigh, vacant eyes, and a disinterested "yes" or "no" at all the bits that they think are right. I could be asking anything, and I'd get the same response. So sometimes, I like to mix it up a bit and throw in a question they're not expecting. If its something like Nytol or a codeine containing medicine, I'll ask "Do you take it regularly?" to which the response is usually a bored yes. In which case, I advise them that I can't sell them any, then swiftly duck for cover when they inevitably throw things at me.
A variant You ask the patient if they are taking any other medications, to which they sigh and say "no". It's only when they're about to hand over their money that they a) ask what would happen if they were taking medicines, then confess, or b) whip out an inhaler and proceed to take a couple of puffs right in front of you after they have just told you that they don't have asthma or COPD.
The patient can inexplicably only take one or two brands of generics for a product. You are, of course, expected to telepathically know this and dispense the right one, and woe betide anyone who doesn't. Now, I am entirely understanding of cases where a patient has specific requirements for one type of product- maybe an allergy to an excipient, say. But when there is not reason for it, and the patient is shouting at you for not giving them "the right medicine" despite them at no point telling you what "the right" one is, then I tend to feel a bit put out.
Now I am known for being attached to my mobile phone. However, one of the most annoying things when working in retail is having to deal with customers who refuse to hang up theirs whilst you are trying to have a conversation with them. Over a pharmacy counter, we often need to give detailed counselling, and of course we need to ask a lot of questions. I can't really do that if you are also listening to so-and-so discussing who was drunkest down the pub the other night. At this particular locum shift, I had to attempt to explain that there was an item owing on a prescription to a chap who was having just such a conversation. The icing on the cake was when he said to his phone-based friend "Hang on, I can't hear you, this stupid woman keeps talking about something and wont give me my prescription". Needless to say, despite me explaining the owing and handing him an owing slip, he returned a few minutes later demanding to know where the missing item was. This "stupid woman" then had to patiently and politely re-explain everything I had already told him.
How do I deal with situations like this? Politely, professionally, and with a smile on my face. I might have a bit of a rant and a laugh about it later in the back of the pharmacy, but outwardly in these situations I remain as calm as possible and attempt to be as helpful as I can. I've had many years of practice. The worst thing about this shift was that I was working with a new counter assistant and a newly qualified pharmacist, and I could see their morale slipping minute by minute. Their shoulders slumped, their smiles became more forced, and I found myself desperately trying to reassure them that this is just how some days go. Of course, we pharmacy types do make mistakes on occasion, and inconveniences do happen. I can understand that, when it comes to health, people can be scared and anxious, and that can come across as aggression. It is my firm belief, however, that a little bit of kindness and manners get you everywhere, and I am always much more likely to respond positively to calm and polite customers than those who default to outright rudeness, although I will do what I can to ensure that I help them all.